Too Much.

I knew a month was too much. But I had to try. I needed it.
This travel was good for me in certain ways, and not that good in others. But not bad at all.
I learned things about life, but especially about myself. I've changed. (For good).
Maybe, at my return, some people won't like the "new" me. In fact, I'm the same. I just discovered some hidden capacities and used them.
It sounds rare, I know. I don't care.
But some things happened, and I would prefer them to be different. 'Cause I don't understand them. 'Cause I don't want them to be truth. I would prefer any other excuse, but that one broke me in some pieces, yeah =(
And it did, 'cause I felt guilty. Somehow I did. I'm leaving tomorrow, but here, things stay as I leave them. And move on. And at my return, they will have changed, maybe.
She said "You don't think about it that way. But he might did it cause he didn't wanted to hurt you. Or get hurt". And there's when I felt guilty. And sad, and broken, and stupid.
Somehow I was right. That's not the problem. The problem was the way I knew it. I had to heard it, his own words, repited by someone who knows a little about this stuff. Maybe she's right.
Anyway, this "bad things" have remedy. I'll get by it. And the good things are actually better than anything. Some relationships got stronger, I learned to be pacient, to listen more and speak (a little) less, to care about others without waiting for an answer. And I carry a lot of "new" good music (for the trip, and after). And my new friends, who I'm eternally thankful, for accepting me and making me feel home, a little more.
Far away from here, maybe not that far, somebody is waiting to see me. And I'm waiting to see him. I'm sorry, Pride, but I have to. I hope things get a little better when it happens. But I won't forget what I leave. Thanks a lot.

Pequeño resumen para hablantes hispanos.
El que termina (terminó) fue un mes (y medio) que necesitaba. Mientras antes viajaba por turismo, este año fue más que nada, viajar para conocerme, para encontrarme. Obviamente funcionaron como vacaciones, y no dejaron de ser turismo. Pero me sirvieron para pensar algunas cosas, con la cabeza en 0 y una paz diferente. Para saber estar lejos, y valorar el volver. Para pensar con más frialdad que lo normal, y a la vez aprender a llevarme con mis impulsos y mi forma pasional de hacer algunas cosas. Para aprender a confiar ciegamente en algunas personas, a calcular mejor los pasos que doy, pero sin miedo a caerme por dar uno en falso, a reaccionar ante alguna situación desesperada (o desesperante). A EXTRAÑAR.
A los que ya estaban, gracias por seguir bancando siempre. Y a los nuevitos, gracias por abrirme la puerta y hacerme sentir un poquito más en casa. Me llevo muchos recuerdos lindos, 2 amigos de oro y un montón de nueva música. Gracias (L)