miércoles, 22 de abril de 2009

Mixer machine

Hacía un tiempo que no aparecía por acá, porque no tenía nada que considere que merece expresar publicamente, ninguna opinión ni sentimiento, nada que me indigne, nada que me mantenga sin dormir, o también probablemente porque eran demasiadas las cosas que pertenecían a esas categorías, y sumadas a la falta de tiempo, bueno.. no resultaba un cóctel demasiado bueno.
Hoy, que (creo) podría reunir todas esas cosas, meterlas en la licuadora y lograr un brebaje que a más de uno le daría un poco de asco, decidí dejar volar mi mente y porqué no?, mis dedos.

Time, is what we've got. Time, time, it never stops, you know? But it goes so slow, at the same time. "oh I won't hesitate no more, no more, it cannot wait, I'm yours. There's no need to complicate, our time is short, this is our fate, I'm yours." I listen to music and words come to me, people come to me, memories come, wishes come. And again, time comes to me. Time goes by, this time so much faster. " I'd like to buy a little bike, now, and drive over and see you". Ha, we go back to that. Missing you, it feels weird. "Y es que te extraño porque hace daño tenerte cerca y no poder tocarte.." Bue, cerca, cerca. Lo que se dice cerca no es. Pero se podría. Y cambia el tema, cambia el idioma, me dejo llevar por lo que escucho, me guía entre las cosas que me dan vueltas y se pierden. "And I learnt I was a liar, just like you". The song changes, again, the feeling too. Now is not Him anymore, now it's Her, my concern. Why does she do it? God knows. I wonder if He'll ever tell me. "Porque conozco yo el calibre de tus besos, ya no me dejo asesinar por esa boca.." Y volvemos a él, pero es otro él, es un él con aaaaños de aportes ya, un él al que me negaba a jubilar, pero cuando lo hice, descubrí que es mucho mejor para mi.. Y para él también. A mi ya no me pone obstaculos, y el es libre de descansar y ser feliz. "Sin tu voz caeré, no podré ilusionarme otra vez, porque el fuego que une nuestras almas moriré cuando deje de ver", un poco a la música que me sostiene, todos los días? "Y si llego a mi fin intentando seré un vencedor, porque es mejor intentar que morirse sin sentir tu voz", y no me preocupa, porque intento todos los días. I don't know. I never know, anything. It doesn't matter how much do I try, how much do I think. There are things that, well, I can't handle. Distance, for instance. This post would be another good example. I don't even know what is it about. It's in two different languages, it probably doesn't make sense, it's probably just more stupid senseless thinking, I don't mind. I like writing, I like thinking. Looking for solutions, looking for the whys. "Cause I'll make the same mistake again", yeah, but at least I'll know which one it is. I often let this kind of lines fall in a piece of paper, I've already got about 8. What's gonna happen with them, once life is not up to me? They're probably never gonna reach destiny. Why do I keep them? Why am I so afraid of losing my memories, my past? "In this great future you can't forget your past", I don't know, I like to belive I won't regret anything if I think twice, of more times. Would it be so bad if I had fallen again? Is not the first time, is not the second. But it is the second person. Is it more
appropriate this time? I think it's less. Why do I feel better? Why don't I regret it? It's better anyway, it's more than I've ever had.
This is taking a wrong direction, I think. Cause I was here to talk about lies, and lies is something I don't understand. As I don't understand betrayal. As I don't understand how could she. But that, is another story.

Creo que ahora quiero dormir.
*Creo que quiero verte, de hecho estoy segura. Creo que voy a escribirte. De eso, ya no puedo estar tan segura, pero mañana dirá.
*Creo que quiero verte, creo que voy a llamarte. My soldiers are all in the same side now, I think I finally made it.
*Creo que no quiero verte, creo que no voy a responderte. Dudo que me haga bien, dudo que cambies. "People don't change", thank you House, it's a good piece of advise, that one, and "Everybody lies".
And if you want me back, you're gonna have to ask nicer than that.

COME WHAT MAY.

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